His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize