They should really pass out barf bags in church
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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