Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
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I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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