She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
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So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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