Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize