I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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