We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
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