I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he shaved USA in his pubs
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
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I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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