Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize