Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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