I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize