he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
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I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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