Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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