Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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