So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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