i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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