dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
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You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
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