i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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