Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Drunk walkin through police station. America
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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