Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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