i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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