Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?

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  (314): Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up? (573): I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up (314): Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days? http://tfl.nu/34og
  Replies (19) Good night (1187) Bad night (1737)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.

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  (847): I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help. http://tfl.nu/0kqr
  Replies (14) Good night (692) Bad night (2797) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?

  (281): View more from Texas

  Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"

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  (281): Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring? (281): Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later" http://tfl.nu/iga6
  Replies (24) Good night (1283) Bad night (4202)
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  (818): View more from California

  I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.

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  (818): I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/1x7g
  Replies (28) Good night (6183) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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  (512): Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise. http://tfl.nu/xhgo
  Replies (13) Good night (5308) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.

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  (270): you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it. http://tfl.nu/hzy8
  Replies (33) Good night (12496) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.

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  (847): i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen. http://tfl.nu/1m72
  Replies (47) Good night (11536) Bad night (2171) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

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  (570): I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned. http://tfl.nu/iuhj
  Replies (20) Good night (1042) Bad night (3131) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...

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  (203): That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa... http://tfl.nu/lw9n
  Replies (7) Good night (2136) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.

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  (513): This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping. http://tfl.nu/j81d
  Replies (5) Good night (3318) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.

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  (561): They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment. http://tfl.nu/ozel
  Replies (7) Good night (1221) Bad night (2094) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.

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  (512): when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table. http://tfl.nu/utxl
  Replies (3) Good night (1376) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.

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  (903): As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix. http://tfl.nu/azut
  Replies (5) Good night (1329) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.

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  (225): Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds. http://tfl.nu/ti8j
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"

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  (715): He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl" http://tfl.nu/l2de
  Replies (17) Good night (418) Bad night (2912) Order T-Shirt

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