Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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