Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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