I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize