allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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