I think I am morally bankrupt
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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