Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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