Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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