Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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