I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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