so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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