If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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