based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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