We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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