The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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