So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize