Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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