capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize