That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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