Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize