This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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