I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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