grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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