Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize