he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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