wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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