so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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