His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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