Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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